The holidays used to be my least favorite time of year.
As an HSP, the crowds, loud noises, and constant stimulation quickly overwhelmed me. I’d find myself hiding in the bathroom just to get a break from all the social and sensory chaos. My family never understood why I needed so much downtime while they could stay energized through days of parties and gatherings.
I felt guilty and like something was wrong with me.
After learning I was a highly sensitive person, the holidays finally made sense. I realized I wasn’t being antisocial or ruining the fun – my nervous system simply processed all the festivities differently. I started implementing self-care strategies so I could actually enjoy the holidays.
To gain insights on navigating the holidays as a highly sensitive person, it helps to turn to the leading experts in high-sensitivity research and treatment. Pioneers like Dr. Elaine Aron, Dr. Ted Zeff, and therapist Julie Bjelland provide research-backed advice and practical strategies from their extensive experience working with and advocating for HSPs.
Dr. Elaine Aron: The Pioneer of High Sensitivity Research
Dr. Elaine Aron, a clinical psychologist, pioneered the research and understanding of the highly sensitive person. She first introduced the term “highly sensitive person” in the 1990s to describe individuals with a sensitive nervous system. Dr. Aron estimates 15-20% of people have this genetically determined trait.
HSPs tend to process information more thoroughly, feel emotions intensely, and become easily overstimulated. While this sensitivity is normal, it can make stressful situations like the holidays much more difficult to handle. Dr. Aron’s groundbreaking book, The Highly Sensitive Person, provides keen insights into the HSP experience along with practical strategies for managing sensitivity.
According to Dr. Aron, the most critical practice for HSPs during stressful periods is self-care. She advises protecting downtime, getting adequate rest, and not overscheduling. HSPs require extra recovery time from social stimulation and need to limit overstimulating situations around the holidays.
Dr. Aron also emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries. Saying “no” prevents committing to more than one can handle. “Learn to say no gracefully,” she advises. “Know your limits and honor your needs.” Making self-care a priority enables HSPs to navigate challenges.
Planning and managing expectations also help. Dr. Aron suggests preparing for sensory stimulation by bringing ear plugs or headphones. Having an exit plan or quiet room to retreat to when overwhelmed is essential. Starting a self-care routine leading up to the holidays helps prevent burnout.
Dr. Ted Zeff: Advice for Highly Sensitive Men
Dr. Ted Zeff, a psychologist and pioneer in the study of sensitivity in men, provides invaluable insights for highly sensitive men during the holidays. In his book, The Highly Sensitive Person’s Survival Guide, Dr. Zeff notes how the pressure to conform to gender stereotypes and “man up” often causes sensitive men to ignore their feelings and push beyond their stress limits.
Dr. Zeff emphasizes the importance for highly sensitive men to tune into their emotions and unapologetically care for their needs during stressful times. “Listen to your body during the holidays and respond appropriately to overstimulation by taking time alone,” he advises.
He recommends highly sensitive men incorporate daily meditation or relaxation practices to decrease anxiety and manage sensitivity during the holidays. Exercise, proper sleep and nutrition also help sensitive men stay regulated when demands intensify.
Dr. Zeff encourages setting healthy boundaries and saying “no” to avoid becoming overwhelmed by social, family and work obligations during holidays. “Stick to your limits and don’t worry about disappointing people,” he counsels sensitive men. Protecting oneself from overstimulation enables greater enjoyment of meaningful holiday connections.
Julie Bjelland, LMFT: A Therapist’s Advice from an HSP Perspective
Whereas Dr. Aron and Dr. Zeff provide sage advice from their clinical research, Julie Bjelland offers the insightful perspective of a licensed marriage and family therapist who herself is a highly sensitive person.
On her website and through an online course specially designed for HSPs, Bjelland provides practical tips for managing sensitivity. She emphasizes the importance of HSPs knowing themselves deeply and structuring their life accordingly. This prevents taking on too much and depleting oneself, especially during holiday seasons.
Bjelland reminds HSPs that time alone to recharge is not a luxury but a necessity. “Honor your need for downtime as sacred,” she advises. Restorative activities could include meditation, time in nature, reading or whatever nourishes an HSP’s spirit and soothes their nervous system.
She also recommends planning ahead and limiting overstimulating activities to prevent becoming overloaded. “Don’t push yourself to attend every holiday party,” Bjelland suggests. “Celebrate in smaller gatherings with people who replenish you.” Connecting with supportive, understanding people provides HSPs with a sense of community and acceptance.
Bjelland stresses the importance of practicing mindfulness as a way to manage difficult emotions and anxiety. “Focus on the present when you begin to feel overwhelmed,” she says. Mindfulness trains the brain to respond skillfully rather than reactively to stress. Slow, deep breathing also activates the relaxation response.
By recognizing their sensitivities, establishing boundaries, simplifying commitments and incorporating self-care practices, HSPs can find more ease, joy and meaning during the holidays.
Essential Self-Care Strategies for HSPs During the Holidays
The key to navigating holiday stress lies in self-care. All the experts emphasize that HSPs must listen and respond to what their mind and body needs. Here are some vital self-care strategies:
- Plan downtime and give yourself permission to take breaks from stimulation. Don’t overschedule activities or obligations. Make time for restoring activities that relax you.
- Set boundaries and learn to say no to things that are draining. Don’t worry about disappointing people. You must honor your needs first.
- Limit exposure to overstimulating environments. Shop online or during off-peak times. Avoid crowded, noisy parties or events.
- Simplify your schedule as much as possible. Reduce unnecessary tasks and obligations. Give yourself space to breathe.
- Practice relaxation techniques daily such as deep breathing, meditation, yoga or being in nature. Keep your nervous system regulated.
- Maintain healthy lifestyle habits such as a balanced diet, exercise, good sleep hygiene and limited alcohol intake. Don’t let the holidays derail your routines.
- Surround yourself with supportive, understanding people. Spend time with people who replenish rather than drain you.
- Listen to your body’s cues. If you feel overwhelmed, take a break or retreat to a quiet space to recharge.
- Let go of perfectionism and be gentle with yourself. Allow things to unfold naturally rather than forcing activities.
- Focus on self-compassion. Don’t judge yourself or let others make you feel guilty for needing downtime.
- Simplify gift giving and holiday preparations. Shop online, delegate tasks, and let go of doing everything perfectly.
- Make time for reflection and spiritual renewal through activities like journaling, being in nature and silencing your inner critic.
- Focus on the present moment when you get caught up in anxiety. Breathe deeply and redirect your thoughts to the here and now.
The holiday season reminds people to slow down, reflect and reconnect with what’s really meaningful. By caring for your needs first, you can fully participate in the joy and spirit of the holidays. Honor your sensitivity as a gift rather than a weakness and learn how to skillfully navigate challenges. With more understanding and self-compassion, HSPs can thrive during the holidays.